Thursday, March 10, 2016

Where Am I Now?

WHAT? Nine months since my last post...oops!  Time is flying and I've been busy working on improving the world!  Okay, maybe not the world, but myself!  So where am I with my health and my life nearly a year later?  Let me tell you.
I just re-read My Story that I shared at the beginning of my blog about the hardest time of my life, experiencing Lyme Disease at it's finest.  As I read it the feelings I felt during that time flooded my mind and I became emotional for two reasons. 1- I remember how hard that time was for me and I questioned daily if I would ever be able to live an active, symptom free lifestyle.  2- I know how far I've come not just physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually at this time.  This experience truly changed who I am.

I am more accepting of myself; more patient, positive, kind and loving to ME.  I like to say that I am "perfectly imperfect".  There is always something that could be improved, always someone who will be better or look better than me but dwelling on that will not make me happier.   I accept my flaws, work on imperfections, release the negative and constantly pray for help and acceptance- the naughty voice that likes to get in my head tries to remind me regularly about my imperfections and insecurities to take me back to the days when I wasn't so accepting of myself.  I have brought more light into my life and my mind and it has made a big difference in my parenting, my relationship with God, friends, my husband and those I serve.

I can enthusiastically say that I DO have an active lifestyle once again!  My fitness level is not where it once was (that couldn't be from aging, right?!) and I will be honest and say that it does bother me at times but I am able to go to the gym for regular work outs, I am able to play volleyball (not as long, often or intense as my college days but more than I have been able to for years yet it still frustrates me that I can't play everyday without being sore and needing rest) I can ride my bike, work in the yard and do most activities.  I try to push myself to improve my fitness level but when I push too hard my body reminds me that isn't a good idea.  I will get tired and sore and have to take a day or two off to regroup; I am working on being patient and understanding and gratitude for what I CAN do ( I said working on it, meaning a work in progress)!  I thank my body often for the health I have, the strength,  talents, abilities and gifts I do have and I know this helps.  Have you ever thought of thanking your body?  Try it!

I'd like to say that  my eating is as clean as it was a year and a half ago but that wouldn't be truthful.  I eat clean, cook clean, have my shakes daily but again, there is room for improvement.  I will indulge in a treat too often, eat gluten too often or have more than I need and my body will again remind me it doesn't agree and I have to be good again.  Eating can be so tricky, can't it?  Food is an addiction and it's something that I have struggled with my whole life....but that's another story for another time!  I do my best to not worry about the "bad days", throw a cleanse day in to get me back on track and move forward with motivation to do better, and I do, until I lose focus again.  Here's the big difference though- when I use to go through this cycle I would beat myself up and have a lot of emotional stress which made it worse, now I recognize the mistake, brush it off, talk myself off the ledge (lol) and move on.  That is huge PROGRESS for me and it's all because of the work I've done on my mind!  So powerful!

Speaking of the mind and power- I, along with two other amazing women, just launched a website called transformedmom.com.  It is all about transforming the body, MIND and spirit and has been a part of what is keeping me busy!  We wanted to share how we have improved our lives and provide resources for others to use when they are ready to change theirs.  You should check it out, we are pretty proud of it and hope that you will find even just one thing that can help  you begin or continue your own transformation.  

Life is what I make it.  It's gonna be good!!










Sunday, April 5, 2015

Healing More Than I Ever Thought Possible. The Emotion Code.

It has been almost 2.5 years since I became very sick and began my journey to find a way to heal.  I felt I was in the depths of my own hell- unable to remember things, unable to be active, work out or even take care of things around the house without being completely exhausted and sick.  It wasn't me or the life I wanted. I was determined that I was not going to live like this the rest of my life so it began...my battle to health. Thankfully I was blessed with a strong will, determination and some fight to keep me moving past all the nay sayers, non believers in what I was doing and those who are still blinded by their own eyes and aren't open to new ideas other than theirs.

The past 4 years have been the most challenging time of my life and I would not want to go through it again but at the same time I wouldn't change it.  Any of it.  Through my trial, my searching, I have gained tremendous knowledge in my body, in nutrition and health in ways that were once unknown to me.  I have found knowledge in natural healing modalities that make sense to me and work for me.  I am my own health advocate, I am the only one who knows what I am feeling and what does or does not work for me and that is powerful.

I have found FAITH greater than I ever knew I had and a better understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and that He suffered so that I could be healed.  He suffered that I would have someone to turn to who knew what I was going through- every single emotion, hurt and pain- He knows, understands and is able to take it away.  I just have to ask and believe.

I have become a stronger woman mentally and emotionally,  kinder to myself- my insecurities have lessened and my appreciation for my strengths and who I am have increased.  I am more confident now than I ever have been before.  As my confidence has grown my strength to stand up for what I believe no matter what it is or even to just be who I am has become empowering.  I am who I am and do what I do, no matter what people say and I am good with it- I don't care if they think I am weird or crazy or whatever, I am ME and I LOVE WHO I am becoming: a better me!

I am more empathetic to others and have a deeper desire to help those who are looking for answers to health but also help to find the person inside who they know they can be and want to be. For this reason I share my story and I share these new methods of healing I have learned, that have been  placed in my life to help others.

Everything that I have done in my battle for my health I have been led to, usually by another person placed in my life to share what I was suppose to do next.  My ears, my mind and my heart are open, I want to be led because I know that God knows better than I what I need.  I have tried many healing methods to improve my health and I want to share a little story that led me to a wonderful new idea.

I was talking to my mom a month or two ago and said, "I know that what I am doing right now is right and everything that I have done has been right and that I have been led to it...but I feel there is still something I am missing and I don't know what it is."  We continued our conversation and hung up.
The next day I received a message from a high school friend telling me she heard I had struggled with  my health and she had found something that has helped her.  I called her that night and we talked for hours- what had helped her was exactly what I was looking for.  She told me about The Emotion Code - how our past emotions get trapped in our body and are the reason for some of our mental and emotional struggles but also physical problems as well.  I knew it was my answer to what I needed next and have been even more convinced as I have read the book, had Dr. Nelson call me as a volunteer on his webinar and pinpoint emotions that I had as well as going to holistic healers working with me to release these trapped emotions.  AMAZING!
What I have experienced from this is unbelievable to some but real to me- some of the pains I have felt that have been ongoing for years are diminishing, even my chiropractor at my last session was amazed at how good my back and neck were when usually they are very stiff- both things I have noticed a difference in.  My gut which I have struggled with for years and currently was having a particular problem with has felt better.  My mood is different, I am more calm and patient and some of my insecurities have been replaced with confidence.  Talk about a blessing and answer for myself, my family and many others who are ready.

Call me crazy...I don't care because it works for me, I am happier, I am healthier and I am going to keep on doing exactly what I KNOW IS RIGHT FOR ME.  I love it!  I love that with trials  comes strength.  The trials are a challenge, it is called a trial for a reason and I can't say I enjoy it but what I do enjoy is growing as a person and becoming better, happier, stronger.  It is a building block in life that is essential to growth.

I am blessed to have people in my life who understand who I really am and what my true intentions are, my goals in life are, who support me and love me even when things sound crazy to them.  I love when I find someone who really listens, who gets what I feel and especially who are as crazy as I am!  Isn't is awesome to know you've got people in your corner that will stand with you?!  I've got some pretty phenomenal people in my life and thanks to them I can be who I am.

If you want to hear more about the Emotion Code I would love to talk and share this with you.


Methods of Healing I Used

I have had a lot of people ask me what I have used to fight my Lyme Disease. Typically I send an email or talk to them over the phone to discuss the protocol that I used.  I feel it would be beneficial for myself as well as many others if I had a post where it was written down to share, so here it is to the best of my knowledge (because Lymies know how bad it messes with our memory!):

**I had been using Nutrition Cleansing for 1 year prior to becoming ill and was in the process of cleaning up our diet even better than I thought it was.

-Quantum Biofeedback: energy work done from a machine that reads every panel of the body and can  send energy to the exact area that needs to be healed.  CRUCIAL in healing.
        *I started out going weekly, bi-weekly, once a month, every other month, when needed over the            course of 2 years and 5 months which is now.
-2 doses of doxycycline to make sure I did everything I could to get rid of the bacteria.

-I started out on the 9 day deep cleanse with Isagenix: release toxins, input nutrition to build immune system.

Following 9 day this was my regimen for close  to 1.5 years (and still is close to what I do now):

2 IsaLean Shakes a day with kale and 1/2 kiwi in it
Healthy lean meal of organic, clean chicken, fish, pork; veggies, fruit (limited)
1 oz Ionix Supreme in am and 1 oz. pm
1 cleanse day per week.  Daily Cleanse for Life 1 oz. am 1oz. pm
Product B or Ageless Essentials with Product B
Any supplements that my body needed from my nature path
Digestive enzymes and probiotics

Dairy free (except my shakes), sugar free, gluten free for 1.5 years (still work on doing now but not as strict)


I would nap and rest when needed.  Took off from the gym for over a month then only go when I feel good.
Far Infrared Sauna (I used my nature path's until I bought my own)
Foot Detox- occasionally
Chiropractor weekly
Essential Oils
Colon Therapy
Colon Cleanse
Prayer
Priesthood blessings and my faith in God and Jesus Christ that I can be healed.

My most recent find that I have been introduced to is The Emotion Code/ The Body Code.  If you have not heard of this you need to buy the book, read it, google an Emotion Code Practitioner in your area and go for a session- it is amazing and will change your life and your healing!  My next post will be about this and my experience in finding it.




Thursday, January 15, 2015

Herxheimer Reaction...What in the world is it?

Have you ever felt fatigue, nauseous, brain fog, lack of motivation?  Have you heard of the Herxheimer Reaction or herx or even herxing?  Here's an explanation that I found on a Lyme Disease page explaining it.  Sidenote- you can experience this for many reasons, not just from Lyme Disease:
The technical definition for a Herxheimer Reaction (i.e., herxing or die off) is the release of endotoxins from the destroyed cell walls of the bacteria responsible for Lyme Disease, Borrelia Burgdorferi, that causes an additional inflammatory response (i.e., debilitating physical and mental state) contingent to the amount of endotoxins released, which is directly correlated to the amount of Lyme bacteria killed (i.e., lysed).

In layman’s terms, a person with chronic Lyme Disease who is experiencing a Herxheimer Reaction has recently killed an amount of Lyme bacteria worthy of causing them to enter a debilitating physical and mental state in which their already present symptoms become exacerbated. They feel as horrible as the amount of Lyme bacteria that have been killed. The more Lyme bacteria that are killed, the more endotoxins that are released. Endotoxins are released from the Lyme bacteria’s cell wall when its cell wall is destroyed by either antibiotics or the immune system. The more endotoxins that are released, the greater the body’s inflammatory response is in order to control the pernicious nature of these endotoxins. It is chronic inflammation that is responsible for much of the symptoms a person with chronic Lyme Disease experiences and a flood of endotoxins only increases it. Having understood that premise, it should now make sense that because people with chronic Lyme Disease have ever-present symptoms, they have chronic inflammation.

Here's the article where you can read more:  Herx article

I have been experiencing some herxing the past week and a half as I have been doing an 11 day deep cell body cleanse, particularly on my cleanse days.  My body is fatigued (not fatigued like I haven't slept but fatigued like I have worked out so hard and so long that I don't ever want to do anything again nor can I, but I haven't). I lack motivation, my head and neck (vagus nerve) hurt, my stomach is uneasy and nauseous, my joints ache, my vision isn't clear and my brain is foggy. Saying that, the level of discomfort is far less than it was 2 years ago when I was going through this and my Lyme was just being fought for the first time and I am so grateful.

You are probably asking why I would cleanse if this makes me feel so crappy, right?  I will tell you without hesitation that cleansing and detoxing the body is the best way to rid the inflammation in the body and release the dead bacteria fast, balance the pH in the body and build healthy new cells.   Once I get through this I start feeling good again, my energy increases and my ability to work out and live life is greater than it was before.  I am releasing a lot of toxins and not just toxins but toxic fat so of course the other side effect of losing some inches (and weight but I never get on the scale so I don't even know what I weigh) is great.

I know a lot of people who experience the Herxheimer Effect when they cleanse- they feel tired and sluggish and they don't like it so they don't ever want to cleanse again.  What they aren't realizing is that their body is working so hard to release toxins that have built up for years and years and deep nutritional cleansing is the only way to release it quickly and less expensive than other medical therapies.  They are doing their body a huge favor and it will thank them sooner than later. 

I woke up at 5:45 am this morning because I was awake and ready to go.  I started thinking about how I was feeling: I could feel my head and neck were still a little sore, my stomach is uneasy (I also have to note that it is my time of the month which also has an effect on my body AND I got biofeedback on Tuesday which adds to the soreness and fatigue which is healing it but adds temporary discomfort) and I thought of the herx reaction.  I hadn't heard of it before I found out I have Lyme but I sure had felt it before so I thought I would get up and share this information with you as I am going through it.  Maybe it will help someone else realize what they are experiencing and realize that it is a good thing and necessary to go through to help the body heal.  

I am on my second round of deep cleanse days, day 4/4 and hoping that by later today or tomorrow I am feeling great.  Sometimes hope and faith are what get me through the tough days so I will keep on hoping!  


Friday, December 19, 2014

Strength From Others

I have had the opportunity to talk to many people around the US- friends, family and total strangers who have or are suffering from Lyme Disease or some kind of illness.  A couple things I learn from each conversation is this: we all have the desire to fight our battle and support the other in theirs, knowledge of other health and healing options and the most powerful is the strength that I get from hearing their stories and advice.

My friend I have met since moving here has fought breast cancer and conquered it but recently found that her cancer is back.  Though her future is uncertain she has the most POSITIVE, AMAZING attitude and is a ray of sunshine to everyone she comes in contact with.  She is working on fighting her battle with a natural approach and it has been inspiring to chat with her and collaborate on ideas.  She is a fighter and I am blessed to have her as a friend and inspiration.

I was at my Grandma's funeral last week (the only good thing about a funeral is the reunion) and I was able to talk to my cousin Brittany who I learned has been challenged with chronic fatigue.  We both knew how each other felt and the frustrations it brings.  I was amazed at her positive energy and how she has responded to her trial and was so grateful that although we don't want to go through hard times, we were able to connect and build each other up.  She gave me a new light and reminded me that it's okay to take it easy, it's okay to not be perfect- I don't have to be Wonder Woman and to feel empowered in what I have learned and who I have become through this journey.  Thank you Britt!

Everyone goes through some kind of trial and I think for the most part we would all take our own over somebody else's.  The wonderful thing is that we have each other to learn from, lean on and be strengthened by.  Thank you to the many people who have been a support and strength to me- I hope I can be the same to you.


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Keep on Fighting

As you know from my last post I had a little bit of a relapse which brings A LOT of frustration but also reminds me of what is important and gets me back on track.

It has been about 4 weeks and I am doing better, not great like I was in the summer, but good.  I stepped back on a few less important things in my life and I took time off from the gym, more that I like, I feel my muscles shrinking and honestly I don't like that. I love to have muscle and some definition and I was really starting to build my legs.  It had been a long time since I was able to lift hard and because of the muscle growth my pants starting fitting tight in my legs.  NO I am not complaining about that...okay once in a while I would ask myself if my pants had always been this tight and question if it was fat or muscle- but since I don't get on the scale EVER (hallelujah that is a burden off my shoulders!) I don't know my weight, what I do know is my waist didn't get tighter just my legs, so I am good in the hood!  Now my pants are loose in the legs and I feel them more soft...AAAHHH I don't like that but for now I have to be okay with it- it just gives me something to work on when I get back to the gym.  Right?!

Back to working out...I have only intentionally exercised about 4 times in the last 4 weeks because every dang time I would work out I would be fatigued the rest of the day.  I remember those days when I first got sick so I allow myself to rest and take it easy without being too critical of the softness occurring in my body.   GULP.

I am eating well again, I will admit I got a little loose and ate more sugar than my body was use to, which doesn't help the situation...sometimes it is really challenging to eat so clean all the time but in order to feel good I have to eat good.   Really good.  I am proud of myself, I just completed a 2 day cleanse yesterday and boy does that help.  I haven't done a 2 day in a long time, only 1 day-er's and I needed that deep cleanse.  My body feels good, my mind feels good and I won't complain that I lost over an inch on my waist, it feels flat.  Cleanse days can be challenging but they are totally worth it.  Cleanse days also help me get back on track with my eating and since the sugar is cleaned out on day 1 of the 2 my cravings for sugar are gone.  Parasites LOVE sugar and it feeds them so more sugar in the body, more nasty parasites and the worse I feel.  I don't even know why I eat sugar anymore, actually I do it tastes so good, but every time I eat it I get a headache and feel my energy drained instantly.  I don't like feeling that way but it goes to show how addicting and damaging sugar is.

Speaking of addicting, I think I am addicted to sports.  I LOVE sports.  I LOVE coaching and LOVE being involved in or attending athletics.  Soccer is over and volleyball is almost over which will be good for my healing but not for my heart.  Yay for basketball.  Athletics are such a good thing to be involved in for anyone- it builds character, teaches team work, hard work and a lot of life skills.  That is why I love coaching, I want to help others be the best they can be and teach them important lessons they can learn and use for the rest of their lives.  Fall has been beautiful and I am not looking forward to winter.

Winter.  Oh boy.  Does the change of seasons and change in barometric pressure affect anyone else with Lyme or similar illness?  I would love to know how others feel.  My body seems to be a little off when the weather changes- I don't look forward to winter and the cold.  I like the sun and vitamin D.

Through the frustrations of having down times in my health I find that inner fight to get back to feeling great.  I am reminded to put things aside that aren't as important in the big picture, focus on what is important and really listen to my body.  I am making progress and I am going to keep fighting because my health is worth it!  Why does life have to be so challenging sometimes?  :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Finding Balance is TRICKY!

I have a list of things I need to do right now but yay for me I am letting some of them go trying to take it easy...easier said than done... so I thought I would share an update of my health and life and why I am in this tricky situation.

You may know from a previous post how awesome I was feeling this summer!  I was better than I had been in years so of course, like most of you, when I feel good I do more!  I have added quite a bit to my plate besides working full-time as a mom: 3 kids in soccer (5 practices a week and games on Saturdays), piano, I am the Young Women President in our church- which means I am in charge of all the youth girls ages 12-18, teaching lessons and planning/carrying out activities, meetings to attend and people to serve.  I help coach volleyball at a high school, volunteered to teach PE at my girls' school on Fridays and of course I have my home business.

My husband wonders why I "complicate my life so much" by adding more things but I don't seem to see it that way.  I am an achiever, a goer, a doer and a perfectionist.  I like to help others, including my own family.  I was in a place I could barely survive, I couldn't do anything for anyone including myself so feeling good and having energy was so a breath of fresh air and I was going to seize the moment!  I am blessed to stay home with my kids, I do know that is the most important job I could have and I enjoy it... for the most part but lets' be honest here- do I get the same satisfaction from hearing "You are the meanest Mom EVER! I hate you!  Ewww GROSS, I am NOT eating that!" with screaming and crying and fighting, as I do, "Thank you so much for changing my life.  Thank you for helping me find confidence and health.  I cannot thank you enough for sharing this with me.  Thank you for coming to practice and helping us.  Thank you for teaching me.  You are great and we love having you a part of our program."  Uh no, I don't.  The reason I add things is because what I add is for ME!  I LOVE coaching and being involved in volleyball, it's who I am.  I love helping others build their health and confidence- these are things that I like, things that help me feel good, appreciated, and it builds me up.  We all need our cup filled, right!?

The problem here is that my mind and my body are on two different playing fields.  My mind, my emotions and desires tell me I CAN do ALL of this but my body disagrees.  My body has been through a traumatic injury and the stress and over-doing it has re-injured my vagus nerve, my  neurological system, which has put me in a downward spiral.  My fatigue is back with a vengeance- no matter how much I sleep I still feel exhausted.  My ears, my throat, my neck and head all bother me, my stomach is nauseated and my ambition is shot. This weekend was pretty tough and it hit me hard.  Lucky for me I have the nutrition that I need to keep me going, I have my sauna- oh my gosh can I just say how much I lOVE my sauna!  It is so wonderful to be able to sit in there and relax.  I can feel it healing my neck and head, I am able to meditate and think about my plan of action and how I am going to heal.  I KNOW what I need to do... I must step back, reduce the activities and the stress and not give my body more than it can handle-which to my mind is ridiculous.  It's the doing  that is tricky.  I have a hard time giving things up that I love and want in my life.  I have a hard time feeling physically restricted.  I don't like not being able to do what I want to do.  I sound like my kids, I know.  haha

So here are my options:  to apologize to those that I have committed to help and hope they understand so that I can step back and work on my health (again) OR  fall back into the dark place I was just a short time ago where I didn't know if I could even build my health.  The choice is pretty clear although it may be hard...but just like we tell our kids, "I can do hard things".  I have battled for my health and I will do it again but thankfully this time will be much easier since I know the road I am traveling.  Finding balance is tricky, isn't it!